I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize