She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
