dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
