Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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