Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
