no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize