I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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