The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
