She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
