we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
