No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
