Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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