What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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