I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
