You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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