Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Terrible idea I love it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
