we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
