I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
