Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
