does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
