I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize