dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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