Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
