I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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