so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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