Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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