my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
did you just send me my own nude
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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