Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
