Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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