I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
