I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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