hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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