I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
