Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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