He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
