why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize