He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize