So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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