Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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