im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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