He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
