I wish life had little blips of pornography
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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