I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How external is "for external use only"?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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