Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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