pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
