I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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