Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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