So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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