you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
