you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize