If that was your dad, he is hot
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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