I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
