I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
