How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
