I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
