I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
