Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize