He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
