i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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