Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
